Sunday, June 3, 2007

Musings of the So-Called Animation Experts


There comes a time when great minds collide and tackle some of the world's biggest mysteries. Or attempt to, at least. You will now have a rare opportunity to have an insider view of one of these conversations, between myself and noted animation scholar Mike Matei. The topic at hand? (immediate pun to the right not intended) Gloves on cartoon characters.
Intellectual pondering it may be...or perhaps eccentric balderdash, that is for the discerning reader to decide.
Warning: Whilst dealing with the discussed topics at hand, we have decided to honor the beloved Will Hayes in censoring this communication for language and content.
MM (11:24:05 PM): well?
TS (2:24:29 PM): d'oh?
MM (11:25:02 PM): why does mickey mouse wear gloves? !
TS (2:25:58 PM): hmm
MM (11:26:04 PM): answer me mother superior
TS (2:26:25 PM): well, I have a complex theory if you want to hear
MM (11:26:32 PM): YES
TS (2:26:36 PM): okay
TS (2:27:54 PM): Well, mice are not humans, so they do impulsive things without thinking about it. So therefore, he must relieve himself and/or minnie a lot, so being born in his generation that's not cool. Wearing gloves, well, probably made him a little less dirty of a mouse.
TS (2:28:37 PM): impulsivity is also the reason he ATE minnie's head in my video cover.
TS (2:28:41 PM): see, it all makes sense
MM (11:28:59 PM): dude
MM (11:29:10 PM): this is why i love talking to you
MM (11:29:29 PM): because you come up with better answers then the real answer
TS (2:29:41 PM): you can bet on that
MM (11:30:57 PM): do you know the real answer?
TS (2:31:48 PM): I think that's a fact best kept secret from the public
MM (11:31:57 PM): ha
MM (11:32:04 PM): I do know the answer
MM (11:32:13 PM): and you will like it
TS (2:32:16 PM): do tell
MM (11:32:21 PM): and its not a joke
MM (11:32:25 PM): this is fact
TS (2:32:31 PM): spit it out
MM (11:32:42 PM): you know felix the cat?
TS (2:32:48 PM): heard of him
MM (11:32:59 PM): what color is he
TS (2:33:11 PM): er, african american
MM (11:33:18 PM): right
TS (2:33:20 PM): ok
MM (11:33:23 PM): he's black
TS (2:33:34 PM): go on
MM (11:33:56 PM): what happens when felix puts his hands in front of his body
MM (11:33:59 PM): answer
MM (11:34:04 PM): they become lost
MM (11:34:15 PM): because his hands are black
MM (11:34:22 PM): and his body is black
TS (2:34:31 PM): Makes sense...and looks better than drawing white outlines
MM (11:34:42 PM): and there tom
MM (11:34:47 PM): is your answer
MM (11:35:00 PM): that is your lesson for tonight!
TS (2:35:13 PM): the societally correct answer, that is. Old theories die hard (-:<
MM (11:35:30 PM): what does that mean
MM (11:35:41 PM): i want you to explain that statement
TS (2:35:46 PM): it's sophisticated balderdash
MM (11:35:53 PM): NO
MM (11:35:58 PM): you said it
MM (11:36:05 PM): now you explain it
MM (11:36:21 PM): before i end up annoying you about it
TS (2:36:25 PM): Well, think of it this way
TS (2:36:55 PM): All the big animation brass sit in a conference room together, cigarette smoke like a nuclear mushroom cloud...1924.
MM (11:37:06 PM): right
MM (11:37:09 PM): ....
MM (11:37:15 PM): and
TS (2:37:33 PM): Now, perhaps they foresee something like the Hayes code coming into effect, who knows when
TS (2:38:00 PM): the moral faction censoring films, that is
MM (11:38:19 PM): okay..
MM (11:38:25 PM): semi following you
TS (2:40:05 PM): What's to say these experts don't agree on something that might appease these heaven-goers...knowing the Catholic church for instance prohibits self-gratification, something animals do quite frequently, it may make sense to voluntarily censor the hands of animals. Just a theory they might not teach you in film school.
TS (2:41:08 PM): or it could pure balderdash. That is for the discerning enthusiast to decide.
MM (11:41:31 PM): did you come up with this idea?
TS (2:41:53 PM): Walt Disney: "Hey! We'll tell the animators we're putting gloves on the characters because it makes sense in animation terms...blah blah blah"
TS (2:42:00 PM): (I may have )
MM (11:42:38 PM): here is my question
MM (11:44:26 PM): how does putting gloves on the hands of animals censor anything? The character is justs walking down the street for example. Why does he need gloves?
TS (2:44:58 PM): It's like how people used to think a woman with uncovered legs was "dirty".
MM (11:45:10 PM): ahahaa
MM (11:45:24 PM): jesus savior christ
MM (11:45:41 PM): could you do me a HUGE favor
TS (2:46:08 PM): what might that be
MM (11:47:03 PM): PLEASE make a blog on everything we said here. it's just too funny.
***
And the rest, fellow bloggers, is animation history. Or is it?

5 comments:

ramapith said...

Holy cow (with gloves, of course). I'm dying over here.

ramapith said...

"There comes a time when great minds collide..."
And never recover from the impact.

Craig D said...

"There comes a time when great minds collide..."

Oh, yeah! That used to happen all the time in those Three Stooges shorts. N'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk!

P-Fay said...

I was hoping the white glove image at the top of the blog post would lead to a bigger, more enticing picture rather than just having it what it is.

Mike Matei said...

So what have we learned? Mickey Mouse is a chronic mastorbator. Right, well that's pretty obvious. But did you know Betty Boop is Nymphomaniac?